Lawd, lawd, lawd.
Can a girl finally get a breath?
Trip to Roi? No seats for you! Apparently, I do not know the difference between “standby” and “confirmed”. Shouldn’t come as a shocker, though. I don’t know my numbers, either.
’80’s night? So I ventured my sober ass self down to the club to watch dh shake it with the best of them. I enjoyed the company of friends I see often in another setting, but everyone else? Eh, not so much. My baloney has a first name, it is: RECLUSIVE. And in the words of Tucker Max, who I would never FUCK or get as a drunk as, “If they can’t take a joke? FUCK ‘em.”
Momma’s Departure? Oh, Momma. What I would give to live in warm weather AND close to you. Sadly, neither the twain shall meet. Hello, Karen Carpenter. Just like me, they long to be, close to you. I am happy for the time she got to spend with us, although watching her fall off her bike put my stomach in knots I don’t think will come untied for the next 4 years. Cool. Maybe it’ll knock my tubes into place.
Friends? I think they have a way of knowing when you feel low. They gather you up, kiss you on the face, take you by the hand, and push you forward. Oh, how I am thankful for those. They are a nice little insular wall who know that my scowls are only meant for the rest of the world, not for you.
Oh happy sun? Could you lay off a little? It is so damn hot.
Shit. Did I agree to host a party for the new guy today? bwahahahahahahah. I’ll have to put my hostess extraordinaire skills to the test. Don’t laugh. I’m serious! Don’t laugh. Oh fine. Just don’t laugh in front of me. Or do. Maybe I’ll LAUGH TOO!
I like monkeys.
