There are some days I should never get out of bed.
Wake up, shower, get dressed: notice there is hole in crotch of jeans and stain on shirt.
Look at self in mirror: Notice that cat scratch ON EYEBALL is particulary red and pus-filled.
Leave for work: Sacrifice handful of grapes to save crotch from hitting bar of boy’s bike and face from handlebars. Fail MISERABLY.
Arrive at work with sore eye, face, and crotch: Bump head on desk picking up trash.
Try to salvage morning and open blog: Write hilarious entry. Have computer choose to not respond and close it.
It’s only 7:14. Should I go back home?
