…keeps the crazies at bay. Which could lead you to several different conclusions.

1.) That I have been cheating on myself and posting somewhere else.

2.) That I am batshit insane.

The truth is, it’s been a little bit of both. I put ONE post on fb. It was funny, and when I can think clearly, I’ll post it here. And two…wow, at the end of the year, getting on the computer was the LASST (typo, but it stays) thing that I could imagine doing. I felt so busy and so tired.

Impressions of the states thus far:

1.) I have to work very hard not to be snarky. Especially in front of the kid. The US appears to be such a place of excess. Teenage kids everywhere…busting out of jeans and clothes. Supersizing is NOT necessary. I understand that we are different sizes, shapes, colors, but when we are ummm (how do I say this nicely?) leaning toward the right side of the scale because of laziness (and not medical conditions), I feel frustrated. RIDE A BIKE! Eat FRESH FOOD! Insert any verb here. Am I getting old and crotchety?

2.) People are so…disconnected. Today, as I wandered ina blind jetlag induced haze, I could NOT get away from people blabbing away on their cell phones while they shopped, ate, drove. I learned about a lady whose dog is on a diet, how all the cool clothes are designed for girls and that is emasculating to boys, and…countless other snippets of conversation when I really just would have liked some peace and quiet. An island has a way of doing that to a girl.

3.) The food is delicious.

Td goes back to his mom tomorrow and I am terrified! Now I think I know how she felt when she put him on the plane to us. He did mention that it was good for him to see that things don’t change that much, and that makes it easier for him to be farther away. I LOVE that kid, darnit. He just wormed his way right into that cold little empty corner of my heart reserved for “kid” and nestled in there.

Biggie will come down here tomorrow, and I am terrified. I just have NO IDEA what to do with that kid. And you know teenagers, the closer they get to adulthood, the more they can smell fear. Expecting the worst, hoping for the best. He’s instability to me, and instability = fear, in my book. He’s still got a lot going on. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

I feel a bit torn (maybe about 10 percent) about how much life still centers around alcohol for others. Dh has really stepped up and been my non-alcoholic buddy, and I don’t know if he understands how much that helps me. I can discuss, smell, look at and laugh about alcohol, but I just don’t drink it. He’s been without it for the last 6 months, and it’s been an amazing change for us. Now, when the “Are you effing crazy?!” remarks and looks come this way, he knows exactly how I feel. It’s no longer a wedge.

Marathon is 6 days away. I want to be ready. But that’s another post for another day. YAY highspeed!