Once upon a time there was a girl who made a GLARING verbal error during a television interview, much to the amusement of her English savvy friends (and foes).

Picture it: She gathers all the people, including her parents that had flown out for a delovely visit, that she can fit into her little trailer (laugh all you want. She and the hubby were living large in K town, and that’s all you need to know) and sits them down to watch her in all her glory. Tsk, tsk. Pride comes before a fall, silly girl! As they are sitting, huddled in the living room, accomodatingly watching her prattle on about sports careers, she falters, searching for a word and comes up with the following:

“We’d like them to have a satisfactional experience.”

Heads turn, mouth corners turn up, brains analyze. Her parents giggle. Her friends guffaw.

Satisfactional?

ASSPHINCTER says what?

“Oh geez,” the girl thought. “I’ll never hear the end of this.”

And she didn’t.

Not to mention that her shirt, which said “Track”, was cut off, so only the letters R-A-C-K appear emblazoned across her chest, while she discusses children on public television.

Having made plenty of verbal blunders before (including telling her friend that she appreciated her for her “self-defecating” qualities), the girl turns (albeit rather hopelessly) to her savior, www.dictionary.com and looks up “satisfactional”.

This is what she sees:

sat·is·fac·tion      /ˌsætɪsˈfækʃən/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[sat-is-fak-shuhn] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

[Origin: 1250–1300; < L satisfactiōn- (s. of satisfactiō) a doing enough, equiv. to satisfact(us) (ptp. of satisfacere, equiv. to satis enough + facere to make, do¹) + -iōn- -ion; r. ME satisfaccioun < AF < L, as above]

—Related forms

sat·is·fac·tion·al, adjective

sat·is·fac·tion·less, adjective

—Synonyms 2. enjoyment, pleasure, comfort. 5. amends, expiation, atonement, indemnity, indemnification, requital, recompense. 7. repayment, remuneration.

—Antonyms 2. displeasure, discontent.

Oh the merry making that ensues! Her tongue has not, in fact betrayed her as she previously believed. It has merely taken a slight detour into the previously undiscovered. Kind of like tasting a new Skittles flavor, could be disastrous, could be yummy.

Satisfactional, indeed.